Emotional Honesty: What It Is And Why It Is Important

Dr Nicholas Jenner

o-couple-apart-bed-facebookMost people are emotionally dishonest for various reasons. A bold statement, maybe but in my experience it is a true statement. Look at this quote:

“Most of us feel that others will not tolerate emotional honesty. We would rather defend our dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others; and having rationalised our phoniness into nobility, we settle for superficial relationships.” from Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? by John Powell.

In my work as a couples therapist, I see this as a major barrier to a couple being on a road to recovery. By being emotionally dishonest, we are missing out on connection with others and indeed ourselves. We are missing out on living an authentic life and we hide and lie what we are truly feeling. In a relationship, this can break trust and lead to resentment, leading to angry outbursts and disagreements.


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