Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

Dr Nicholas Jenner

why-forgive-1The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness.  Religious, psychological and philosophical teachings all tell us that forgiveness is essential. “You have to forgive to be able to move on”, they say. “Forgiveness is the first step to processing the feelings you have”. We have been lead to believe, falsely in my opinion, that forgiveness is the only way to start healing.

Forgiveness is a major issue in therapy. Clients want to forgive abusers, parents, partners, sometimes children and others who have wronged them. they just feel they have to. Some of them start therapy with the bold statement they they have forgiven everyone who has done them harm and then spend the next hour proving the opposite. Many therapists early in their careers, myself included…

View original post 662 more words

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.