Codependency: Why Red Flags Give Us All The Information We Need

Dr Nicholas Jenner

0_W16myTR5jXjENsG6“The red flags are usually there, you just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.” ― April Mae Monterrosa

In my daily work with codependents, I hear a lot about so-called “red-flags”. Usually this comes when clients are describing the early stages of a relationship they were or are in. If they are describing a relationship with a certain personality type, the red flags are always evident and obvious but codependents choose to ignore them. They do this because they have usually been “hooked in” by the adulation given to them by the new partner. At the end of a difficult relationship, people often say, “He (or she) told me who he (or she) was at the very beginning, but I just didn’t listen.” In therapy, I ask my clients to analyse previous relationships and when they noticed “red flags”. A discussion can then be had about what…

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