Fear Getting Close To Anyone? You Could Be Counter-dependent

Dr Nicholas Jenner

The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition, determination and healthy autonomy. The traits mentioned here are positive but could it be that something lurks under the surface that could be less than positive? Some people who display some of these characteristics may struggle in many areas of their lives. They wear a “mask” and project a functional personality to all around them and they could well be counter-dependent, defined as the “refusal of attachment” due to the inability to truly trust and the deep fear of intimate connection. Counter-dependency is the natural “other half” of codependency and can co-exist with codependency within the same person at different times and in different relationships. However, many people mistake counter-dependency for independence or healthy autonomy when in reality it is…

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