Choice Not Impulse Moves Codependents Forward

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Anyone who is a regular reader of my work will know that I work with a lot of codependents who generally share a similar set of behaviour patterns with each other. Codependents are generally very nice people who have often been taken advantage of many times but have also been in situations where they have felt the need to control others for their own security. This control is driven by the lack of connection with caregivers experienced in childhood and is often a life-long quest to find it. On this quest, they try, often in vain, to mend the trauma from childhood by fixing other people. Mostly, the more issues their “target” has, the better. Narcissism, alcoholism, drug addiction, porn addiction or just nasty behaviour are all on the list of issues that codependents will try to fix.

Many will jump from one dysfunctional relationship to the next looking for…

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