Anti-codependency is not about becoming self-centred. It is about returning to an adult stance in your own life. Autonomy means you can stay connected without disappearing into the other person.
They “protect” us dysfunctionally to keep us from moving forward and offer us the easy way out. They offer us the easy way out and it seems often to be the best option at the time. Only through a process of releasing the control they have, can we promote the Self and have any hope of facing the true issues. Let’s look at the different types that could exist, no way exhaustive and there could be others:
On the whole, I manage my codependency well now but occasionally it catches me out. I forgive myself for this and move on. I can move on because I have good awareness of when, how and why my codependency shows and as such, know what action to take. The action is to identify the parts of me that are present and what they are protecting me from.
New Groups for Recovery from Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse. Starting November 9th
So my question is: How do you go about setting boundaries with a narcissist? My answer would be that if you are truly asking yourself this question, then “you are closing the barn door, after the horse has bolted”, so to say. Let’s put this into more perspective by giving you a little story from my past experience. About five years ago,
The lessons children learn in their formative years — how to handle emotions, how to communicate needs, how safe or unsafe it feels to be themselves — are carried forward into adulthood. While some researchers debate whether personality is permanently set in early childhood, in therapy we can clearly observe that patterns of behaviour learned in childhood often resurface in adult relationships.
The most important part of the above process is to find a therapist who has taken his or her own journey to interdependency and understands the steps needed. It is always prudent to ask a therapist about his or own co-dependent issues and how they were handled.
Codependency recovery is deeply personal—but it doesn’t have to be done alone. In fact, group therapy has the potential to transform the healing journey in profound ways. While individual therapy offers valuable insight, something truly powerful happens when people come together with shared experiences and open hearts.
I read a lot of self-help books and they are mostly all the same. Change your thinking and change your life. Still, there is one book that I have returned to many times. It is not technically in the self-help genre, more technical, but it holds information essential to understanding how we see relationships.