Childhood: Where Codependency All Starts
It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That something could be work, substances, alcohol. That somebody could be a partner, parent or boss…
Codependency And Addiction: Why The Disease Model Will Never Work
The term codependency has gone through various changes in meaning over the years. Originally, it was only used to describe anyone who stayed in a relationship with a substance user and enabled that behaviour…
The Value Of Assignments In Therapy Cannot Be Understated
One of my clients said to me the other day that she had seen many therapists but no-one like me. While I was still trying to work out whether this was a compliment or not, she clarified this by saying…
The Lengths That Some Will Go To Keep Their Partner Happy
There is a storyline that runs in the well-known tv series Breaking Bad when one of the main characters rents a house from a woman who he develops a relationship with. As he is an addict, she also falls into the same addiction “because she loves him”. In the end this “love” proves her downfall as her “normal” life descends into addiction hell…
Fantasy Will Keep The Worst Of Relationships Going
How many of us have been in relationships we just know are going nowhere but we hang on untill the bitter end?…
Codependents Need To Learn To Feel
Developmental trauma is the root cause of codependency. By trauma, I mean that a codependent in childhood sought but never attained connection with a caregiver…
Annihilation of the Self :The Role Of Relational Trauma In Shame
Chronic or toxic shame is something that we all have to deal with but do our best to hide. It is the part of us that we want to keep dark. Bringing it into the light means looking at the very core of who we really think we are…
Fear Getting Close To Anyone? You Could Be Counter-dependent
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
The Drama Triangle: A Key Element Of Codependent Control
I have often documented here how much control exists in codependent thinking. In contrast to their nemesis (someone with narcissist tendencies), codependents are generally nice people who are willing…