I read a lot of self-help books and they are mostly all the same. Change your thinking and change your life. Still, there is one book that I have returned to many times. It is not technically in the self-help genre, more technical, but it holds information essential to understanding how we see relationships.
In this live Q&A, I will be answering questions about all things codependency, relationships, and overcoming destructive habits. Whether you’re in the early stages of self-awareness or are actively pursuing healing, this session will be beneficial for you. Whether you’re struggling with a romantic relationship, family dynamics, or friendships, this is your space to ask, learn, and grow.
So you can perhaps understand why codependents especially, find change hard. They have no reason to change because change will, in their minds, confront them with their worst fears and for them even a bad relationship is better than none and the fear of being alone.
What I am saying here is that communication in relationships is hard enough. We are all incompatible until we do the work to become as compatible as possible. This is not a natural process but if you add codependency into the mix, it suddenly becomes much more difficult. Especially, as stated earlier, with someone who is a natural dysfunctional fit.
This is not a resolution post. I don’t believe in New Year resolutions but I do believe in reflection and lessons one can learn from it. I have always believed that change starts with self awareness and reflection, whether it’s in written or mental form. We can and should always learn from earlier experiences and indeed, mistakes. They give us the material to change the way we do things.
To celebrate the closing of this year and the promise of new beginnings, I’m offering $50 off “Self Leadership for Codependents” audio program!
I would like first to discuss the term “love” in relation to codependency. Codependency is not love. It is an attachment based on control and insecurity. It is a behavioral and emotional issue borne out of a dysfunctional connection with caregivers.
Individuals exhibiting codependent tendencies often display a range of psychological characteristics, including low self-esteem, an incessant need for external validation and approval, difficulty establishing boundaries, an exaggerated sense of responsibility for others’ actions, and an intense fear of rejection or abandonment.
New insights into the neurobiology of codependency have emerged from recent studies. Codependency may have structural and chemical origins in the brain, rather than just being a learnt behaviour, according to recent research.