There are many theories and models available to inform us what makes a good marriage. Many talk about trust, honesty, faithfulness and effective communication skills. All of these factors are relevant and are essential elements of a good relationship. Any relationship is hard work and that work doesn’t get easier as time goes on but it is work that needs to happen. As a therapist who does much couples therapy, I have found that each couple is clearly different in their views of wheat makes them a viable couple and how they maintain that. This is clear as we are all different and what works for one person or relationship might not work for another. In fact, each relationship we find ourselves in carries a different dynamic to navigate and that can be difficult.
So the secrets of success in a relationship and what makes two people compatible over the long-term are complicated and complex. The same approach will work in one and not another. However, in my experience, I have identified two factors that I believe are an essential part of any relationship and without them, some of the other factors mentioned above become less important. Let’s look at these individually:
Dr Willard Harley explains the Love Bank as follows:
Within each of us is a Love Bank that keeps track of the way each person treats us. Everyone we know has an account and the things they do either deposit or withdraw love units from their accounts. It’s your emotions’ way of encouraging you to be with those who make you happy. When you associate someone with good feelings, deposits are made into that person’s account in your Love Bank. And when the Love Bank reaches a certain level of deposits (the romantic love threshold), the feeling of love is triggered.
Dr. Nicholas Jenner, a therapist, coach, and speaker, has over 20 years of experience in the field of therapy and coaching. His specialty lies in treating codependency, a condition that is often characterized by a compulsive dependence on a partner, friend, or family member for emotional or psychological sustenance. Dr. Jenner’s approach to treating codependency involves using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a treatment method that has gained widespread popularity in recent years. He identifies the underlying causes of codependent behavior by exploring his patients’ internal “parts,” or their different emotional states, to develop strategies to break free from it. Dr. Jenner has authored numerous works on the topic and offers online therapy services to assist individuals in developing healthy relationships and achieving emotional independence.
